ARTICLES
From Story to Science: How the Brain Friends Grow With Your Child
Emotional regulation is not a one size fits all skill. A four year old needs very different support than a ten year old. Adults, too, benefit from understanding what’s happening in their own brains and bodies. That’s why The Brain Friends are designed to grow with the child, offering a developmentally sensitive approach to understanding emotions, behaviour, and the nervous system.
Reception and Early Years (Ages 4–5) At this stage, it’s all about connection, safety and story. Young children understand the world through play, imagination and relationships. The Brain Friends become characters they can relate to in a fun and playful way. Lenny the Lizard might be scared and hiding when the classroom feels too loud. Mylo the Monkey might be shouting because something felt unfair. Orla the Owl is still learning to make good choices. Adults support regulation by saying things like “Let’s help the Brain Friends work together again.”
Through this character-based lens, children begin to build interoception (the ability to notice what is happening inside their body). They start to tune in to basic sensations like hunger, tiredness or a tight tummy and begin connecting those to feelings and behaviours. The focus here is not on science, but on building early bodily awareness and emotional safety.
Key Stage 1 (Ages 5–7) Children begin to link emotions with body sensations and actions. The Brain Friends help them build this awareness with more clarity and confidence. They might say, “Mylo is feeling cross” or “Lenny got scared.” Adults begin to explain that these characters live inside the brain and that they have different jobs.
Children also begin developing a wider emotional vocabulary, learning to name a broader range of feelings like worried, frustrated, excited or lonely. They are supported to link those feelings with what’s going on in their body, such as a racing heart, butterflies in the tummy or clenched fists.
They start to learn simple strategies like breathing, movement or asking for help. The focus is still playful, but it introduces the idea that we can influence how we feel by looking after our brain and body.
Key Stage 2 (Ages 7–9) At this stage, children can begin to connect The Brain Friends to real brain areas and nervous system responses. They learn that Lenny lives in the brainstem and keeps us safe. Mylo lives manages the amygdala and reacts quickly to danger or stress. Orla, in the prefrontal cortex, helping us reflect and make good choices. They are introduced to Brilliant Brain, who helps build strong brain pathways when we practise and try again.
Children use tools like check-ins, calming strategies and simple reflection questions. They begin to take ownership of their regulation with adult support and start to recognise patterns in their feelings, behaviours and triggers.
Ages 10–11 (Upper Key Stage 2) Older children start to ask deeper questions and are ready to explore more complex brain science. They learn about the nervous system and how stress affects the body. They begin to understand the chemistry of the fight, flight and freeze response, including the roles of cortisol and adrenaline when the brain perceives danger. They also learn how to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps the body return to calm. This might include techniques such as deep breathing, rhythmic movement, mindfulness or connection with others.
They explore neuroplasticity and how thoughts, habits and emotions can shape how we feel. They reflect more deeply, asking, “Why did I react that way?” or “What could I do differently next time?” The Brain Friends remain relevant, but the language becomes more age-appropriate and empowering. Strategies are chosen more independently, and children begin to support their peers as well as themselves.
For Adults and Professionals The Brain Friends are not just for children. Adults benefit too. This model helps adults understand their own reactions and stay grounded when working with dysregulated children. It allows parents and teachers to notice when their own Lenny or Mylo is active and to respond with more calm and connection.
The shared language makes it easier to talk about feelings and behaviour in a way that is non-blaming and brain-aware. It is relational, and adults can use the Brain Friends to support regulation, build trust and repair relationships after tricky moments. It’s a tool for co-regulation and for creating a culture of emotional safety.
Building their knowledge and understanding! What starts as a simple story in Reception becomes a powerful lifelong toolkit. The Brain Friends grow with the child and stay relevant through every stage. They help children and adults understand themselves, connect with others and navigate life’s challenges with greater awareness and confidence.
Understanding your brain is not just child’s play. It’s a skill for life.
July
2025
Celebrating Impact and Advocacy at the House of Lords
I was incredibly honoured to attend the Savvitas 18th Birthday and MP Heroes event at the House of Lords — a day dedicated to recognising individuals making a difference in their communities and championing change across the UK.
Nominated by my local MP, Chris Philp, I was invited to take part in this inspiring event alongside other grassroots changemakers, entrepreneurs, and advocates. It was a moment to celebrate the power of purpose-led work and the impact it can have on policy, education, and lives across the country.
As the founder of The Brain Friends, I used this opportunity to share the importance of emotional education, especially for children with additional needs. With mental health challenges rising, school anxiety increasing, and overstimulation becoming the norm, it’s never been more urgent to give children tools to understand their brain, body, and behaviour.
Being in the House of Lords, speaking about regulation, resilience, and relational support, was a powerful reminder that our work belongs in these rooms — not just classrooms.
It also reinforced something I truly believe: real change starts with real people, and when parents, educators, MPs and community leaders work together, progress is possible.
Thank you to Savvitas, Chris Philp MP, and everyone who continues to back this mission. The Brain Friends are just getting started.
June 2025
Why Children Need to Play Like Lizards Before They Can Learn Like Owls
If you've ever seen a child suddenly lash out, run off, freeze on the spot or completely shut down, you’ve probably seen their Lenny Lizard in action.
In The Brain Friends model, Lenny Lizard represents the brainstem- the part of the brain responsible for survival. It's fast, reactive and focused on one thing: keeping us safe. And when Lenny is in charge, learning, talking, reasoning and even sitting still just aren’t possible.
But here’s the part we often overlook. Helping children understand their Lenny is not just about explaining what the brain does. It’s about helping them feel it in their bodies, through play.
Lenny Lives in the Body
Lenny doesn’t use words. He uses signals like a pounding heart, sweaty hands, tense shoulders, a racing tummy. That’s where interoception comes in. Interoception is the brain’s ability to notice internal body signals like hunger, tiredness or stress (1).
Children with SEN or emotional needs often have underdeveloped interoception. They don’t always realise they’re anxious, tired or overwhelmed until Mylo flips the switch and they are in full-on fight, flight or freeze.
This is why body-based play is such a powerful way to build awareness and control. When children get to move, wiggle, stretch, pause and breathe, they start to notice what’s going on inside and what helps them feel safe again.
Lizard Play: Regulation in Disguise
Here are a few ways you can use play to bring Lenny to life and help children tune into their nervous systems:
- Wiggle Like Lenny — Do fast, reactive movements then freeze. “Was your heart beating faster?”
- Build a Lizard Den — Use blankets or cushions to create a cosy, low-sensory space. “Does Lenny feel safer here?”
- Lenny’s Triggers — Act out loud noises, crowded spaces or sudden changes. Then practise “safe body” strategies like curling up, pressing hands together, deep breathing or bouncing.
- Lizard Body Check — Lie down and notice each part of your body. Is it tight? Wiggly? Calm? What might help it feel better?
This kind of play is not a break from learning. It is learning. Children begin to link sensations with emotions. They start to notice when Lenny is showing up. And over time, they can reach for tools to shift state before meltdown or shutdown takes hold.
From Lenny to Orla
Once children learn to notice and calm their Lenny, they can access Orla Owl, their thinking brain. Orla helps with decision-making, reflection and problem-solving, but only when Lenny feels safe and their Mylo Monkey (emotions) is regulated.
That’s why The Brain Friends model always starts with the body. When children use movement and metaphor to make sense of what’s going on inside, they don’t just behave better. They feel more in control.
Play is Science
This isn’t just theory. Neuroscience tells us that safety and regulation are the foundation for all higher-level learning (2). Dr Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory shows how body state drives behaviour, and how co-regulation, rhythm and sensory input help children shift out of survival mode (3). Dr Bruce Perry’s work also highlights that regulation must come before connection and learning — not after (4).
So next time a child is bouncing off the walls, zoning out or pushing back, pause before reaching for consequences. Ask instead: Is Lenny in charge? What is their body telling them? And how can we use play, presence and rhythm to help them feel safe again?
Because when Lenny is calm, Orla can fly.
References
(1) Mahler, K. (2016). Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System. AAPC Publishing. (2) Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University (2011). Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control” System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function. (3) Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. (4) Perry, B. D. (2006). Fear and learning: Trauma-related factors in the adult education process. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 110, 21–27.
